A Day Of Preparation For Jon’s Surgery

We came home tired and worn out.  Both Jon and I took to the earth for grounding.  I went to the woods and Jon spread soil in his raised garden beds.

On Wednesday Jon will have surgery to amputate his toe.  (He has been writing about it on his blog you can read about it here).  Today we went to three appointments in preparation for the surgery.  We have lists of the things we need to do. Jon has good doctors but it was draining.

There are practical preparations that all the doctors and nurses have been mostly good about communicating.  Our biggest concern was how to get Jon out of the car and up the few step into the house once we got home.  But with the help of a friend and reassurance from his surgeon, I think we’ve figured that out.

The emotional part has been harder for me to grasp.

Jon and I are both more quiet than usual and slowly withdrawing from the world a bit.  We are both a little edgier and more gentle with each other.

I feel a kind of gathering going on inside of me.  A calm as if collecting myself and storing up energy.

Last week I was pushing myself to get work done.  But today, when we got home later than we expected I chose to go for a walk in the woods instead of going to my studio.  I knew it would be nourishing.

I also knew I was too unsettled to do my work well.

When Jon was getting his blood work done, there was a small boy in the office who cried, thrashing on the floor for the whole time we were there. It was more than a temper tantrum.  I don’t know what his condition was, and no one including his mother and nurses and doctors was able to help him.  It was awful for him and his mother and hard to not get upset witnessing it.

Jon and I were both still feeling the anguish of it all when we got home.  So after our time outside, we meditated together,  then napped.

I believe that Jon will get through the surgery fine.  I understand that he may be in pain and will be uncomfortable as he heals.  We will both get irritated and annoyed at times. But we will also be loving and kind to each other. We’ll sleep downstairs for a few days, him on the chair and me on the couch.

Jon will be back to work as soon as he can.

I will be working too.  Maybe not in my studio right away.  But I have a list of things that I can work on from the house along with blogging, drawing, and taking pictures.

Tomorrow we’ll go food shopping to stock up on what we’ll need.  And  I want to work on some more “Pocket Of Joy” Potholders that I started on Friday.

We have some good friends who have offered to help if we need them and feel comfortable accepting their offers. I feel like I’m learning how to take care of myself instead of just pushing through. I’m consciously trying to slow down and allow myself to feel what I feel without judgment.

I also understand that Jon has a right to be feeling the things he is feeling and that it’s not about me.  So learning to trust and to be more patient.

I have no doubt this coming week will offer its challenges, but I also know that much good will come from it. Probably in ways, I can’t even imagine yet.

painting the fabric for my Pocket of Joy Potholders

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