Balanced In Uncertainty

Jon’s granddaughter Robin ran to one of the big reflective balls on the lawn at the Bronx Zoo.  She wanted to sit on it and kept sliding off.  I wanted to take a photo of the reflection in the ball.

With her mother’s help, Robin got to sit on the ball.  And when I tapped the button on my iPhone, this little pink girl stepped into my photo and I took a picture I never imagined.

Our trip to the Bronx Zoo seems a long time ago.  Like it was our benchmark for the beginning of this new reality, based around the Coronavirus.   Last week I kept thinking that this could be big, it could change everything, or it might make little difference in most people’s lives.

Today I know it’s unprecedented in my lifetime.

And while the precautions are looming, and there are people around me who have been affected by them,  I hadn’t experienced that until today.

This morning when I went with Jon to his eye specialist, there were warning signs about the virus and everyone who worked there was wearing a mask.  Then my Bellydancing class was canceled because it’s held in a Senior Center and the Center has been shut down.

This is minor compared to what many other people are going through.  Especially those who are sick or know someone who is. But because I work at home and live in a small town, there has been little disruption in my life so far.

If I let my imagination run wild, it can easily go down a dark path (I grew up on apocalyptic books and movies, so it’s natural for me).   So I try to stay rationally cautious and remember what I learned when Jon had his Open Heart Surgery.

Which is to be aware of the possibilities, good and bad, but not indulge anything that isn’t happening at the moment.  I stop my mind from wandering into the darkness and remind myself that “right now things are okay.”

I pay attention to what is going on so I can be prepared as much as possible, but I don’t let myself think too far ahead.  And I know from experience that both Jon and I are capable of handling whatever comes our way.

As I sit in my studio writing this, I’m watching a male and female robin out my window.  One pulled a worm out of the ground and swallowed it. As strange as the world seems to be at the moment, for so much of the life around us, it’s still just another day on the edge of spring.

6 thoughts on “Balanced In Uncertainty

  1. I totally understand where you’re coming from, Maria. I’m also trying to carry on as normally as possible. Thankfully, I don’t have to venture too far from home either. We have our groceries delivered to our house a couple of times a month, a small luxury we allow ourselves because it’s very much worth saving wear and tear on our knees and backs! Plus, my sister and I are both pretty much “retired” now so the school closures, etc. luckily are not affecting us. I do feel sorry for the working parents who have to scramble for child care at the last minute because our schools will be closed after tomorrow until at least April 1. I am trying very hard not to be overwhelmed by all the media hype and keep everything in perspective. Common sense will hopefully prevail.

  2. Not that I’m a big basketball fan but this is the time of the year when March Madness is going on-but the NCAA canceled that tournament as of this afternoon. It’s also the time of the year when the Woodcocks begin to appear, so I stuck my head out the door to our deck around dusk and went “pheet!” I was almost immediately heard an answering pheet from down the yard. The Woodcocks are back! A little earlier than usual but in this crazy time, it made me smile. (In another month or so when it is lighter later I will go out and pheet away until the male hurls himself into the air and does his whirling mating dance.)

    1. I just looked up the woodcock Marcia. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one. But now I’ll going to be on the look out for them. Thanks, I think many of us will be looking to different things this spring to keep us entertained.

  3. Maria,

    I now live alone in a small town with few resources. Your note about not going to the dark place about the coronavirus is comforting.


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