I found myself folding the pile of clothes that I had thrown on the chair in the bedroom over the past few days. Then, in the kitchen, I was scrubbing the sink and countertops. If I didn’t stop myself I probably would have cleaned out the refrigerator.
I had plenty to do this morning before Jon’s surgery, but when I’m nervous I organize, I clean. I think it’s my way of having some control when I feel like I have none at all.
I’m not good at waiting, I’d rather be doing something. Especially something physical that expends my nervous energy. But today will be a day of waiting. And I’m prepared for it.
I have my sketch pad and two new markers, Yaa Gyasi’s new book Transcendent Kingdom which I’m already hooked on and of course, my iPhone so I can do my email, take some pictures, text friends (and a million others things if I want to).
I’m planning on being in the hospital through visiting hours this evening. We have someone taking care of the animals and farm till I get home.
I know once we get to the hospital, I’ll be in the moment, dealing with what is right in front of me. But right now, I’m looking forward to getting up tomorrow morning, going back to the hospital and bringing Jon home.
Thinking of you and Jon.
I pray all will go well for Jon, and his heart surgery, today.
My thoughts are with you both, Maria.
With you, Maria, and Jon, too, of course. Love the donkey photo, too.
I am also an organizer/cleaner when I am concerned/waiting. Get so much done.
Thinking of you and Jon! xoxo
❤️❤️❤️
Maria, I can relate to how you deal with nervous energy! I cannot be still, I’d rather dig a ditch or do anything physically demanding. It’s so satisfying rather than wait. Sure, there’s my phone, books, knitting – but nothing trumps physical labor for dispelling stress. Dame Julian of Norwich said it best, “…and all shall be well.” Sending you and Jon good vibrations!
Dear Maria, I’m SO VERY GLAD that Jon’s procedure went WELL! I also need to be physically busy when I’m anxious, cleaning is good tonic!