“Come look at my new way of stacking wood in the shed,” I said to Jon. I’ll admit it I was excited. I figured out how to stack the wood in a quicker easier way, just by having the piles go north to south instead of east to west.
“So it took you three years to figure this out,” Jon joked. I smiled.
A few days ago Jon wrote about being flexible, about being about to change his mind and not getting stuck in one way of thinking.
I’ve been trying to change my mind about the way I think about some things for years. I’m getting closer with some and still working on others.
It was getting dark as I tossed the logs from the pile of firewood into the woodshed. I have a running story about a woman similar to me,(but not me) and how she lives her life and handles her problems (which are also often mine). This is the only time I image this story.
There’s something about the repetition and physical movement of stacking wood I find good for thinking.
It was in this story yesterday that I got the idea that if trauma lives in our bodies, then good things must live there too.
I know that when I’m having a panic attack, I can eventually think rationally, but my body is still feeling the physical effects of panic which makes it hard for me to believe that I really am okay.
As I bent over and picked up a log then straightened and tossed it I could feel my heart pulsing, my breath catching up to my movements, my muscles pumping.
My whole body was in motion, inside and out. Breath, blood, sweat, releasing and replenishing.
It seemed the perfect time to inject my body with good thoughts. To let them course through my system, filling up my cells, with the rest of the healthy chemicals my body was producing.
I had a good thought to go with each log picked up, tossed, and eventually stacked. Making good of the wood, and of myself at the same time.
I stacked my good thought along with the wood until it got too dark to see.
I don’t know how many cords of wood it will take for me to change the way my body thinks. I don’t even know if it’s possible at all. But I like the idea and the way it feels. So I’ll keep at it. We still have two more cords on the way this summer.
And there’s always next summer and the ones after that.
Maria, you have organically and spontaneously (yay! you!) experienced the somatic healing that comes with “rhythmic patterned repetitive movement.” The list of repetitive, rhythmic regulations that have been used for healing trauma is extensive; I think wood stacking can now be added!
Interesting Leslie, I haven’t heard of that. I’ll look into it more. Thank you. 🙂
this is awesome and beautiful. what an awakening…the mind/body KNOWs…I love your attitude…esp about next year and the next…Life goes on.
keep on keeping on, Maria!
I will Nancy, thanks for your encouragement.