Bar Fight…..


I’m feeling better now (thank you all) but when I was so sick that night, I passed out and woke up on the bathroom floor.  I hit my lip on the way down and although it never really hurt, its bruised.   A black and blue lip.  It doesn’t bother me so much, I know it will be gone in a few days, but it’s interesting because when I’m out in public, I can’t help but wonder what other people might be thinking.

And for me, and maybe for a lot of people, the first thing that comes to mind is that I’m a battered woman, that my husband hit me.  Jon and I even joked about it with the kid selling popcorn when we went to the movies, it’s impossible to ignore.  But I thought, if I were a man, I doubt that “battered man” would come to mind for most people.  If I saw a man with a fat bruised lip I would assume he was in a fight.  And the bruise trophy-like.

So I thought, what if I walked around with the attitude that I had been in a bar fight, and had won.  When someone stared at my lip, I could proudly whisper… Bar Fight.  Empowering right?  No longer the victim.

Of course I could just tell the truth, but it’s not as much fun.  And I have the opportunity to  maybe change some long held perceptions about women, especially for myself.

(P.S. Jon has been bugging me to sell my sketches for several years, so I’m offering this one for $10 – plus shipping –  Sold. to see if anyone wants it. If so, just e-mail me.)

19 thoughts on “Bar Fight…..

  1. My new husband accidentally broke my nose in a play wrestle and I sort of enjoyed letting people think he did it on purpose. Had to stop when my boss cornered him! To give you a happy thought…one of your potholders from the Open House has made its way to Mississippi and is now hanging in my kitchen and making me happy! Hope you heal quickly!

    1. You’re a confident woman Jane, great way to deal with it. Love to imagine one of my potholders making the trip from Cambridge NY to Mississippi.

  2. I’d like a copy of it, Maria. Could you send total cost and your address again? I’m treasuring the pot holder you made for me to give my daughter. I’m sure she’ll hang it and may not actually use it. I’m going to have to buy another potholder to use from you after Christmas. The one I bought from you at the first Bedlam Farm festival is well used. Glad you are better!

    Laura Hutchison

  3. Ow, hope you’re feeling better soon!
    A friend of mine boxes and occasionally has a black eye or cut lip. Whenever she notices someone looking at her she says “you should see the other guy!”

  4. Years ago, I broke one ankle and sprained the other at the same time. Told everyone it was a skiing accident. The truth? I tripped carrying a potted plant out of the house. “Bar fight” didn’t occur to me then — but now it will if there’s a Next Time (heaven forbid).

  5. Glad your feeling better Maria, sorry about the lip, it will get better. I would like to wish you and Jon Happy Holidays and much good health in the New Year.

  6. So glad you’re feeling better, Maria. Passing out is bad enough, but getting hurt in the middle of it is even worse. (What did the other guy/gal look like?)—

  7. Oh, Maria!! I am so sorry that you were so sick that you passed out in the bathroom!!! BUT WHAT A LAUGH I HAD AT THE THOUGHT OF YOU GETTING THAT BUSTED LIP IN A BAR FIGHT!! The thought will make me smile all morning!! Annie

  8. Bar fight – I’ll need to remember that. Two funny incidents (well, now they’re funny):

    1) The year Roger and I went camping and he propped up a bearbby clothes line with a forked tree limb. He forgot the limb was there and leaned against it. Down crashed the limb onto the back of my head! I wound up with a concussion and spent 12 hrs. of our camping trip at the hospital.

    2) Roger has night terrors – he’s had them since childhood. One evening, when he had a terror, I tried to comfort and calm him. While still in the throes of his terror, he flailed his arms and caught me in the eye and ribs. Next day, when I went to work, I had a very black eye and bruised ribs. It was all I could do to keep my boss from calling in a domestic disturbance! Moral of story – never touch a person who is having a night terror. Soothing talk is okay – touching is not!

    Roger still apologizes for both these incidents, though now when we talk about them, we both laugh!


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