The Frozen Hawk And The Jehovah Witness


The Hawk on the front porch

I didn’t expect the DEC to get here so early.

I was just about to put the  hawk, I ‘d been keeping in the freezer, in a box and leave it on the front porch.   I didn’t think Jon and I would be home when they came to pick it up.

But when the van pulled into the driveway, I grabbed the hawk wrapped in a black plastic bag and went out the front door where the van was parked.  An older man dressed in a suit minus the tie was already out of the van and walking towards the stairs.

He was not what I expected.  I’d spoken to Britney on the phone, but maybe they had volunteers doing the pickups?

“I didn’t know you’d be here so early”, I said reaching the bagged hawk toward him.

He smiled, and said,  “I’m not who you think I am.” Then pulled out a leaflet, folding back the front cover.

“Oh,” I said to him. ” I was just about to hand you a frozen hawk.”  You’re not from the DEC then?

He replied that he wouldn’t keep me, he just wanted to let me know there was help for these stressful times.  I took his pamphlet and told him the hawk was going back in the freezer.

In my experience, it was the shortest amount of time a Jehovah Witness spent on their pitch. And  the only time we both left laughing.

16 thoughts on “The Frozen Hawk And The Jehovah Witness

  1. I think maybe keeping a frozen dead wild animal for the Jehovah Witness visits may be just the ticket!
    I’ve always been polite and taken the pamphlet, but interrupting their formulaic talk can be challenging.

      1. You have to understand I’m not prejudiced. I dislike the fact they don’t let their children get medical treatment and their children die sometimes. It happened right up the road for me when I was growing up I was about 7 years old and my mother had to tell me my friend died and then I heard my mother and my father talk about how they wouldn’t take her to the doctor because they don’t believe in doctors and stuff and they don’t believe in hospitals and I lost my friend at 7 years old

  2. My mom always told them, “I’ll be happy to take your pamphlets, if you’ll take my copy of [our church’s] magazine.” Sometimes they would. It definitely reduced the length of the interaction. I’m fascinated by how the hawk changed the conversation completely for you and that fellow.

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