The Bear and Ed’s Good-bye Message

August 19th, 2018

The bear in the back of Ed’s pickup, out in our pasture, with the DEC, Ed and me.

No one ever comes to our front door, so when I heard the knock, at first I thought it was the wind.

But there on the front porch was a man I’d never seen before.

He told me that, this morning, around 5:30 he was driving by and  saw a big black bear cross the road and run into he trees on the other side of your pasture fence.    “I just wanted to let you know there was a bear in the neighborhood”, he said.

I thanked him and thought of Ed Gulley.

Actually since Ed died, that bear that was hit by a truck two years ago and climbed over the fence into out pasture, has been on my mind.

It was a pretty dramatic moment and Ed was at the farm, picking up his work from the June Open House.  Jon, Ed and I   watched the bear hide in the tall grasses as Chloe, my pony at the time, ran the fence snorting and tossing her head.

Jon called the police and eventually the DEc came and shot the injured and dying bear.

Ed went home with the bear in the back of his truck and later skinned him with the help of one of his sons.  He was planning on having the skin taxidermied  but I don’t think he ever got around to it.

The bear dying on the farm and Ed being there when it happened had a spiritual feeling to it.   And in the days after we tried to figure out the meaning to it.

Ed came to believe that  “the bear, a young male, was looking to find and mark his own territory, that’s what they do when they leave their mothers, he was crossing the street and heading into the woods and hills across the road. You and Maria have been helping me to do the same thing, I want to expand my territory as a writer and an artist and that’s why he came to where I was, we both are doing the same thing. I think that’s why he came.”

I’m not sure how it works, but when that man came to the door this morning and told me about the bear, I got the feeling it was  a message from Ed.

I’m not saying that Ed’s spirit was somehow in the bear.  But if we’re all connected, people, animals and the natural world,  as I  believe we are, then couldn’t it make sense that between Ed,  the bear and the man who saw him  and came to tell us about it, that it’s some kind of sign.

Today is Ed’s funeral.  Perhaps this is Ed’s final good-bye to us or an acknowledgement of our friendship.

If the man coming to the door and telling us about out bear neighbor was a dream, it seems it would be the perfect symbol for Ed goodbye.




Kelley and Linda’s Flying Vulva Potholder

August 19th, 2018

Linda and Kelley

Kelley sent me this photo of her and her wife Linda with their Flying Vulva Potholder.  

Kelley  wrote….“I’ve hung it in a few different places trying to find it’s home. For now it’s in our living/dining room where it can be seen often and by anyone who visits.”

I love that they put it in a place where everyone who visits can see it.  And I love their smiles!

(I have a more Flying Vulva Potholders and Decals for sale in my Etsy Shop.)

What Friends Do

August 17th, 2018

I looked at the corn growing behind Ed’s coffin and smiled.

How perfect, I thought, for him to be here surrounded by corn. The corn he grew and harvested for most of his life.  I thought of the cycles of farm life, how close they are to the earth.

Birth, death, rebirth.  Year after year after year.  Ed knew it well.

Carol and the rest of her family stood in a receiving line under the big tent.  I sat in one of the otherwise empty chairs while Jon took pictures. When I saw a gap in the line, Carol waiting patiently for the next person to make their way to her, I cut in and gave her a hug.  It was a long, hard hug, the kind of hug that takes the place of words.

Even though it was in a corn field, and  Ed was wearing a camouflage t-shirt and shorts and most of the people who came were wearing jeans or shorts, flip-flops and sneakers, still there was a formality to the wake.

So Jon and I got in line.  I gave hugs to grandchildren whose names I couldn’t remember but whose faces I recognized.  I gave hugs to Carol and Ed’s children who I’ve come to know, a little better,  over the past months.

I left before Jon did for my Bellydancing Class. It felt right to me, to be going to class after the wake.  Dancing as the antidote to death.

I was surprised when my eyes started to fill with tears as I walked back to my car.  And more surprised when I couldn’t stop crying on the twenty minute drive to my class.

I remember the first time I mentioned Bellydancing to Ed, he made one of those typical “guy” remarks.  But then, when he watched the Sister’s of the Shawl dancing  at the Open House, he told me,  with wonder in his voice, that they looked like a kaleidoscope.

Ed loved to talk and was a great storyteller, so I wouldn’t have thought it when I first met him, but he was   one of the few men that I’ve known in my life that actually listened to me.  Our conversations were mostly about art and he was hungry to hear what I thought about his art and about art in general.  He was never dismissive of my thoughts and ideas. He took me seriously.

And for guy like Ed, who has been, unquestioningly, doing things his way his whole adult life, that’s unusual.

Jon and I keep talking about how Ed’s death has hit us harder than we thought it would, in ways we wouldn’t have expected.  We keep trying to understand it, to figure out just what Ed meant to us.

I’m prone to letting my feelings take over, allowing myself to feel what I feel when I feel it.  Intellectualizing the death of a friend too much can be a way of avoiding emotions.

But I am curious too. With some friends it’s easy.  I just know what they mean to me, the importance of them in my life is obvious.

But Ed was an unlikely friend for me to have.

I can see now that the way Ed listened to me and took me seriously was special.  It made me feel good about myself, gave me a boost of confidence and allowed me to see what I had to give.

I also see that we were both able to open ourselves up to each other. To trust each other. There were many times in my life where I wouldn’t have been able to do that with someone like Ed.  And I don’t know for sure, but I imagine it was probably the same for Ed.

But isn’t that just what friends do.

What a great gift, what a great loss.








In The Back Pasture

August 17th, 2018

Even though you can’t see Red in the video, the sheep are reacting to him.

The Shelves Are Never Empty

August 16th, 2018

When I do my shipping I spread out all my potholders on the bed in my office/guest room so I can easily find the ones that are sold.

The picture above are the potholders I still have for sale in my Etsy Shop.

It’s a nice mix of different kinds of potholders.

I also have  Show Your Soul posters and post cards, Flying Vulva Decals, notecards and House of Hearts Tote Bags in my shop.  Along with a wide selection of Jon’s photos.

So come take a look and keep my Esty Shop in mind when you have a gift to buy.  The shelves are never empty at fullmoonfiberart.

You can get to my Etsy Shop by clicking here.  Or on the big orange Etsy Icon on the top of my blog.

Back Porch Moment

August 16th, 2018

My Flying Vulva Potholder Flying Off To Burning Man

August 16th, 2018

Beth McLaughlin,in a Pussy Hat

I’m happy to tell you that the flying vulva potholder I recently received from you will be flying off to Burning Man later this month!

That was in the email I got from Janet.  I was as excited to hear it as she was to send it.

Janet works at the Fuller Craft Museum, in Massachusetts and Beth McLaughlin ,Chief Curator there is going to Burning Man at the end of the month.  (If you don’t know what Burning Man is, you can check it out here.)

There are 10 Principles of the Burning Man Temporary Community and Gifting is one of them.  You bring and give a gift without any expectations.

Janet asked Beth if she could give her the Flying Vulva Potholder she bought from me, for her to gift  at Burning Man.   Beth said she’d love to!

So now, thanks to Janet,  one of my FlyingVulva Potholders will find her way to someone in Black Rock Desert in Nevada, amongst the magic of Burning Man.

My Flying Vulva’s are getting around…..

The Potholder Janet is Gifting

You can see all my Flying Vulva Potholders and Decal here in my Etsy Shop.


Paradigm Shift, Getting there….

August 16th, 2018

Paradigm Shift

I finished designing Paradigm Shift yesterday.  Or so I thought.  When I went into my studio this morning I could see that it needed one more strip of fabric.

After I finish packing up the potholders I sold in my Etsy Shop and bring them to the postoffice, I’ll get back into my studio and sew a blue-green piece of fabric to the right side.

Then I can start working on the backing.

Today’s Egg

August 16th, 2018

The hens have been laying between one and two eggs a day.  White Hen started molting a few days ago so her feathers are everywhere, even on her egg.

The Flying Vulva. From Humble Potholder To Worldly Decal

August 15th, 2018

“I love her bumper sticker!”

That’s what my friend Mandy wrote on the text she sent to me along with this photo.  She was stopped at the traffic light in town (yes, we only have one) and saw my Flying Vulva decal on the car in front of her.

At first I didn’t know whose car it was and was excited to think that someone I didn’t know had my Flying Vulva on it.  But it’s a small town and after a few minutes I realized the car was  Susan’s.  Another friend  who just moved here from Long Island.

It’s still exciting for me to see the decal out in the world.   And only makes me want to see more of my Flying Vulva decals spreading the message of women’s freedom, strength and power.

As I looked at this picture, I was thinking of how the Flying Vulva started out as a humble potholder and now has the potential to be seen almost anywhere.

So if you’d like to spread the word, you can buy my Flying Vulva in decal or potholder form in my Etsy Shop.  The decals are $8 including shipping and my Potholders are $25 + shipping.  Click here to see them and buy them.